I couldn’t sleep the whole night and so it all began with watching How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) – Season 5 until the day broke. It was 630 and I didn’t have a smoke for almost 9 hours. And what brought me to have a puff was the episode from the American sitcom. It showed this bunch of friends doing a totally unexpected thing –SMOKING.
The guys saw the sunrise and decided that they would quit smoking eventually. And that gave me an inspiration to kick the butt. So what do I do?? I walk out of my home to the chaiwallah chacha. This tea-vendor is a grumpy old man, who has put his shop up right next to the entrance of the building which has a flat that I call my humble nest.
I asked him for my cigarette and picked up the newspaper while I lighted a smoke and I realized that I hadn’t seen a morning in a while and said to myself that probably this is a sign that I should quit it. I eventually will.
And while I was foraging through the newspaper – my source of bread and butter- yes I am a journalist (It ain’t all that cool..But, that sob story can wait for some other day), I overheard a conversation the grumpy man was having with one of his customers. I wanted to enjoy the show so made myself comfortable on the watchman’s seat pretending to read. Apparently, the customer had challenged the presence of God and this offended old man who decided to teach the bloke a lesson. The old man says, “If there is no God, then why does the sun rise in the east? If you have the guts make the sun rise in the west.” Poor customer was, as Marshall (a HIMYM character) says, “LAWYERED”.
Just a few hours ago I was asked by a woman, whom a few people call Guardian Angel, asking me to write a piece for the Op-Ed page (Google it). It is an honour. I had chosen a few topics for the piece and one of it is related to what the chaiwallah- lawyered chap duo were talking about. Recently, scientists have discovered that some particles exist which can travel faster than light. If proven, the discovery could lead to a drastic change in the laws of physics. CERN, Italy says they have experimented it for three years and discovered that ‘neutrinos’ travel faster than light.
The customer, in a way, questioned the God. The discovery challenges Albert Einstein – the God of Physics. The discovery, if true, means we will have to make way for a new equation in Modern Physics. It questions Einstein’s famous “Theory of Relativity”. It means all the laws and equations, which we have studied, that govern the nature will have to be rewritten. In short, e= mc2= NO MORE.
Who knows, with the finding, you may wake up to find the sun rise from the west. The chaiwallah said, “… if the sun rises from the west I would shut my tea-shop and have no faith in God”. A University of Surrey professor said something similar, albeit differently, “If the CERN experiment proves to be correct and neutrinos have broken the speed of light, I will eat my boxer shorts on live TV.”
So, let’s get back to business, we will have to get wait and watch if the experiment is, as Barney (a HIMYM character) says, “TRUE STORY”.
You know what, one of the best part of HIMYM is its characters. They are real, you can actually point out that an xyz from your group of BFFs is a Ted Mosby (less the charm and naivety), that a 123 is a Lily Aldrin (minus the readiness to) have sex with her lawyer hubby, Marshall Eriksen. There is a Ted Mosby around you, who dates this Goddess of Beauty - Robin Scherbatsky. And of course, you can’t miss out Barney Stinson, a guy who gets laid all the time…. WHAADuuuUUp.
Barney is a guy who gives me huge inferiority complex all the time (I told you being a journo ain’t cool at all). Come on, even you can admit you get the IC too. So, with the thought of writing my first blog, so to say, I decided HIMYM would be my point of reference (Hope I can manage some TRPs for the show). Back to reality, there I was sitting on the watchman’s seat with not one but two newspapers (YES, you have got to read as much as possible when you’re a scribe), one of the society’s resident walked up to me and said, “Son, impressive that I see you reading a newspaper. Nowadays, nobody reads them at all.”
Flattered by his comment, I politely said, “Thank you. But one really needs to read to keep up-to-date with what is happening.” Only in the next few seconds did I realise something was totally wrong between us. He asked, “Are you a graduate?” I nodded and said yes. Out of the blue the gentleman said, “I have been living here for many years, yet I have never seen an educated and more than that an English–speaking watchman. Why don’t you look out for a better paying job?”
Both of us were on a different plane…. a planet altogether. He mistook me for a watchman and with my mirror-cracking looks I could be a sweeper (no offence to the community) for somebody. I obliged the gentleman saying, “I am not a watchman. I am a resident of this building.” We exchanged pleasantries and he invited your’s truly to his home for a tea sometime on a Sunday evening. Apology accepted and about the tea?? A part of me says oblige thy neighbour. But, the Barnicle in me says, “Accept the invite for a tea only if your neighbour has a hot girl for his daughter.”
Keep waiting to know if the gentleman has a hot daughter, more of a journalistic life and some gyaan on what’s happening around the world. I sign off for now. “It’s been a hard day’s night and I’ve been working like a dog. It’s been a hard day’s night; I should be sleeping like a dog.”
